Sunday, February 24, 2008
The Spark, Recedes.
Some people think that being out of school could be a damn lot of fun. Little do they know how much being out of school makes you feel like shit. How much it makes you feel useless, hopeless. And what twists the knife in the wound is knowing that you are the cause for most of the worries in the family and that you have other siblings who have graduated from a university, who have pretty much a good job and everything else you don't.
We are constantly in a battle with our own emotions, fighting hate, sadness, loneliness (though I guess lonliness is technically not considered an emotion). Time after time, we feel like we're the most unlucky people on Earth, we feel like nobody understands us, and that everything in nature seems to be going against us. Yet 99% of the time,we grief over what we failed to get and we fail to see what's already been given to us.
Look around you now. Your bed, this computer right in front of your eyes. Picture your kitchen, you have a water tap that never fails to provide you with that precious fluid, and that tin of halal pork or beef hell notes you have stocked up somewhere in the cabinet or the fridge. But it seems like these requisites are always taken for granted, and have been taken over by the obsession for wealth and property.
When will this ever end?
Some people say I'm a perfectionist. Some think of my choices as foolish and that they'll never work out. I'm treading on the fine line between inspiration and insanity that it's nowonder people have polarized opinions about me. Right now I fear I might end up being consumed by lunacy from the stress I am giving myself. I also keep having thoughts of an early death from an incurable sickness or disease.
Don't know why.
And you know sometimes when I write these blog entries and I reflect over them, it makes me wonder what my life has installed for me ahead. Makes me wonder what might happen tomorrow, or a week later, or years down. Might I move up society's pyramid and turn into a ghastly lager-licking hobo? Or will I continue living my life kissing the asses wrinkled off the "Lees"? Then again the ageing wrinkles might catch up to them first.
So, for the indefinite numerical figure of an instance, I guess there's nothing much I can do about anything again. Right now, I am just writing without much of a sense of objectivity and ranting too much. I find that I no longer have much to write about since I see no purpose in a life that is pretty much predestined for us. I sure hope I don't become a priest or any of that crap voluntary non-sexual "callings" at the very least.
As much as I like wasting your life reading my blog entries as I like wasting mine on anti-cosmic sperm regeneration, I'd like to end off saying this:
Fuck all of you garbage-eating ministers who emphasize on what you term 'education'.
Goodnight. =)
We are constantly in a battle with our own emotions, fighting hate, sadness, loneliness (though I guess lonliness is technically not considered an emotion). Time after time, we feel like we're the most unlucky people on Earth, we feel like nobody understands us, and that everything in nature seems to be going against us. Yet 99% of the time,we grief over what we failed to get and we fail to see what's already been given to us.
Look around you now. Your bed, this computer right in front of your eyes. Picture your kitchen, you have a water tap that never fails to provide you with that precious fluid, and that tin of halal pork or beef hell notes you have stocked up somewhere in the cabinet or the fridge. But it seems like these requisites are always taken for granted, and have been taken over by the obsession for wealth and property.
When will this ever end?
Some people say I'm a perfectionist. Some think of my choices as foolish and that they'll never work out. I'm treading on the fine line between inspiration and insanity that it's nowonder people have polarized opinions about me. Right now I fear I might end up being consumed by lunacy from the stress I am giving myself. I also keep having thoughts of an early death from an incurable sickness or disease.
Don't know why.
And you know sometimes when I write these blog entries and I reflect over them, it makes me wonder what my life has installed for me ahead. Makes me wonder what might happen tomorrow, or a week later, or years down. Might I move up society's pyramid and turn into a ghastly lager-licking hobo? Or will I continue living my life kissing the asses wrinkled off the "Lees"? Then again the ageing wrinkles might catch up to them first.
So, for the indefinite numerical figure of an instance, I guess there's nothing much I can do about anything again. Right now, I am just writing without much of a sense of objectivity and ranting too much. I find that I no longer have much to write about since I see no purpose in a life that is pretty much predestined for us. I sure hope I don't become a priest or any of that crap voluntary non-sexual "callings" at the very least.
As much as I like wasting your life reading my blog entries as I like wasting mine on anti-cosmic sperm regeneration, I'd like to end off saying this:
Fuck all of you garbage-eating ministers who emphasize on what you term 'education'.
Goodnight. =)
Justin, 04:50