Monday, October 15, 2007
So Anyway...
(Long post btw, go bore yourself out if you want to)
Fellow readers, you might all be pondering over why I wrote two entries for today.
No, I am not trying to boost the number of blog entries just to keep my blog updated.
Yes, I wrote the earlier entry in a fit of rage over the loss of my precious hair.
No, I am not a fag.
Yes, my hair is like one half of an iron maiden now.
By the way, let me explain what an iron maiden is. It is not only a name of a british heavy metal band, it is also a torture/punishment device.
In the past, there was a certain death sentence for prisoners by using the iron maiden. So what happens is that the prisoner(I sure wished it was the damn bitch who cut my hair) is trapped in a room where there are 2 walls which are seductively decorated with flesh-piercing spikes. And these walls slowly converge inwards where the prisoner is trapped in and, poor fella, he get's impaled by the spikes and then gets squished like a swatter smashing a housefly.
It's pretty insulting actually, the fella already dies from being stabbed by spikes, and just for the fun of it, he gets flattened.
So anyway, the reason I wrote another entry was because the previous one had a pretty decent serving of vulgarities which would probably have taken a pretty huge amount of attention away from what I had intended to write initially. (Not the iron maiden part) That's why I seperated my article.
So... First day of Second semester in Ngee Ann Poly.
Lessons from 8am till 12pm. Then at 1pm-4pm.
At 12pm:
Justin says "Hey wat lessons do you have in the afternoon?"
Friend says "Hah? where got lesson, go home ah!"
Justin says "What?! I have engineering mechanics lesson later!"
Friend says "That one last sem module right? eh, how many modules u repeat?"
Justin says "Uh, 3"
Friend says "Cheebye, see la now u suffer."
A delightful conversation as you can see. But it finally got to my attention that I was suffering. Be it suffering academically, financially, spiritually, musically, physically, socially, etc... All this while I have been walking in a happy-go-lucky fashion, thinking that things will just fall into place as long as I don't commit suicide. But I continued to suffer.
Then I was thinking, 'wait a second, I AM putting in effort.'...............'well ok fine, miniscule in studies and massively in music - drumming, etc.'
Studying Electrical and Computer Engineering and channelling my efforts into music. Not exactly a bright move.
Doing music in Singapore will always be political wrong as far as having a career and a stable income is concerned. I will always be pinned down by the infinite debate against acheiving a status through music. But I will only have one opposing sentence - I just want to be a musician.
Being in this shit course in NP is already the first inimical obstacle against achieving my goal. I do believe that it is by God's Will that I managed to graduate from secondary school with terrible results and to barely make it into poly. But it's all very confusing and contradicting. Should I play safe just to ensure I get a stable income, only to be haunted daily in future on why I had not dared try to be a musician.
Or should I continue with this politically wrong attitude of earning a living? And if I do that, will I make it?
And if I stick to His Will, would I have gone against not beliving in myself in being a musician and hence causing my own drudgery of being an engineer, or watever it is as long as it isn't being a musician?
So how is it that God already decides our life, yet answers all our prayers in a way He sees more benificial for us. That wouldn't exactly be answering our prayers, would it?
The universal law of balance. Like I've said in entries before, to spend time studying would be to waste time in progressing a another step towards being a musician.
This can be such an extremely vicious law sometimes. Remember it, respect it, and appreciate it.
The thing is, the questions above will never be answered till I've reached that point of my life. I guess I will have to find my way through, with guidance from above, of course.
All of us were born as creative beings. In fact, a child uses 80% of its creativity in doing whatever it does, playing, eating etc, whereas an adult uses only 20% creativity. Look at what education has caused us to become. Implementing a higher emphasis on logic rather than creative thinking. Without the right brain, we would all literally go insane from tons of excessive info.
Again, HOW HOW HOW? Turn left or turn right? Engineer or.. you know what.
Fellow readers, you might all be pondering over why I wrote two entries for today.
No, I am not trying to boost the number of blog entries just to keep my blog updated.
Yes, I wrote the earlier entry in a fit of rage over the loss of my precious hair.
No, I am not a fag.
Yes, my hair is like one half of an iron maiden now.
By the way, let me explain what an iron maiden is. It is not only a name of a british heavy metal band, it is also a torture/punishment device.
In the past, there was a certain death sentence for prisoners by using the iron maiden. So what happens is that the prisoner(I sure wished it was the damn bitch who cut my hair) is trapped in a room where there are 2 walls which are seductively decorated with flesh-piercing spikes. And these walls slowly converge inwards where the prisoner is trapped in and, poor fella, he get's impaled by the spikes and then gets squished like a swatter smashing a housefly.
It's pretty insulting actually, the fella already dies from being stabbed by spikes, and just for the fun of it, he gets flattened.
So anyway, the reason I wrote another entry was because the previous one had a pretty decent serving of vulgarities which would probably have taken a pretty huge amount of attention away from what I had intended to write initially. (Not the iron maiden part) That's why I seperated my article.
So... First day of Second semester in Ngee Ann Poly.
Lessons from 8am till 12pm. Then at 1pm-4pm.
At 12pm:
Justin says "Hey wat lessons do you have in the afternoon?"
Friend says "Hah? where got lesson, go home ah!"
Justin says "What?! I have engineering mechanics lesson later!"
Friend says "That one last sem module right? eh, how many modules u repeat?"
Justin says "Uh, 3"
Friend says "Cheebye, see la now u suffer."
A delightful conversation as you can see. But it finally got to my attention that I was suffering. Be it suffering academically, financially, spiritually, musically, physically, socially, etc... All this while I have been walking in a happy-go-lucky fashion, thinking that things will just fall into place as long as I don't commit suicide. But I continued to suffer.
Then I was thinking, 'wait a second, I AM putting in effort.'...............'well ok fine, miniscule in studies and massively in music - drumming, etc.'
Studying Electrical and Computer Engineering and channelling my efforts into music. Not exactly a bright move.
Doing music in Singapore will always be political wrong as far as having a career and a stable income is concerned. I will always be pinned down by the infinite debate against acheiving a status through music. But I will only have one opposing sentence - I just want to be a musician.
Being in this shit course in NP is already the first inimical obstacle against achieving my goal. I do believe that it is by God's Will that I managed to graduate from secondary school with terrible results and to barely make it into poly. But it's all very confusing and contradicting. Should I play safe just to ensure I get a stable income, only to be haunted daily in future on why I had not dared try to be a musician.
Or should I continue with this politically wrong attitude of earning a living? And if I do that, will I make it?
And if I stick to His Will, would I have gone against not beliving in myself in being a musician and hence causing my own drudgery of being an engineer, or watever it is as long as it isn't being a musician?
So how is it that God already decides our life, yet answers all our prayers in a way He sees more benificial for us. That wouldn't exactly be answering our prayers, would it?
The universal law of balance. Like I've said in entries before, to spend time studying would be to waste time in progressing a another step towards being a musician.
This can be such an extremely vicious law sometimes. Remember it, respect it, and appreciate it.
The thing is, the questions above will never be answered till I've reached that point of my life. I guess I will have to find my way through, with guidance from above, of course.
All of us were born as creative beings. In fact, a child uses 80% of its creativity in doing whatever it does, playing, eating etc, whereas an adult uses only 20% creativity. Look at what education has caused us to become. Implementing a higher emphasis on logic rather than creative thinking. Without the right brain, we would all literally go insane from tons of excessive info.
Again, HOW HOW HOW? Turn left or turn right? Engineer or.. you know what.
Justin, 20:25